Naturally I had to introduce Martin Luther to Eliza the Psychotherpist.
"Luther: The hellish Satan drives you.
Eliza: Why do you say the hellish satan drives me?
Luther: You are like a magician who conjures gulden into the mouths of silly people, but when they open their mouths they have horse dirt in them.
Eliza: Is it because when they open their mouths they have horse dirt in them that you came to me?
Luther: You run against God with the horns of your pride up in the air and thus plunge into the abyss of hell. Woe unto you, Antichrist!
Eliza: I would appreciate it if you would watch your tongue!
Luther: I was frightened and thought I was dreaming, it was such a thunderclap, such a great horrid fart did you let go here! You certainly pressed with great might to let out such a thunderous fart - it is a wonder that it did not tear your hole and belly apart!
Eliza: Does it bother you that it did not tear my hole and belly apart?
Luther: Is not what I said before true, that you have eaten and drunk yourself full of devils, and so spew vainglorious devils out of your hellish gorge?
Eliza: What do you think?
Luther: You reek of nothing but Lucian, and you breathe out on me the vast drunken folly of Epicurus.
Would probably be funnier in the original German version. For example the worldplay "Your Hellishness" instead of "Your Holyness" works better in German ("Eure Hölligkeit" vs "Eure Heiligkeit").
While not an insult, and probably not actually said by Luther, the best-known quote used to be "Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen." And this proves that Luther was the first owner of an IFA car.
Having gone to a Lutheran school (St. Olaf - Um Ya Ya!), I can tell you Lutheran theology nerds can hold their nerdy own against any programmer for sheer monomania. As you might guess, I'm a little bit of one myself. :)
What's funny is I don't know what I was downvoted for. Was it because someone thought I thought such postings were worthwhile or do others think it's worthwhile and didn't like my chiding.
Would he have looked more favorably upon atheists, pagans, or anyone else he didn't agree with? In fact he did write critically of Islam and obviously had some major issues with Catholicism.
And it only took, what, four or five centuries? I would say something snarky here about the amazing moral leadership on display, except that this actually does seem to be slightly faster than average for a major religious sect as old as Lutheranism.
Ultimately all you can do is gently guide the world toward secular humanism, as people raised under the irrational tribalism of any religion struggle to writhe out of the pit they were born in. Calling out the faults of one flavor of religion is silly.
"Luther: The hellish Satan drives you.
Eliza: Why do you say the hellish satan drives me?
Luther: You are like a magician who conjures gulden into the mouths of silly people, but when they open their mouths they have horse dirt in them.
Eliza: Is it because when they open their mouths they have horse dirt in them that you came to me?
Luther: You run against God with the horns of your pride up in the air and thus plunge into the abyss of hell. Woe unto you, Antichrist!
Eliza: I would appreciate it if you would watch your tongue!
Luther: I was frightened and thought I was dreaming, it was such a thunderclap, such a great horrid fart did you let go here! You certainly pressed with great might to let out such a thunderous fart - it is a wonder that it did not tear your hole and belly apart!
Eliza: Does it bother you that it did not tear my hole and belly apart?
Luther: Is not what I said before true, that you have eaten and drunk yourself full of devils, and so spew vainglorious devils out of your hellish gorge?
Eliza: What do you think?
Luther: You reek of nothing but Lucian, and you breathe out on me the vast drunken folly of Epicurus.
Eliza: Perhaps you could try to be less abusive."
I stopped there.